Four Practices That Bridge Divides

by Margie DuBois, CPC

October 1, 2025

I don't know about you, but I’ve been in a state of chronic anxiety and exhaustion with everything going on in the world.

It’s left me wondering how on earth humans can move forward in a productive way. With so much division, anger, and tension, it sometimes feels impossible.

While I’ve had moments of despair, I find myself coming back to one answer: practicing skills that enhance leadership, communication, and belonging.

Ironically, these are the same skills I teach as a leadership trainer, facilitator, and coach. They are tools we can use at home, at work, and in our day-to-day lives.

I'm convinced that if everyone committed to doing these four things, we could change the world together:

1 - Stay curious and ask open-ended questions

Research shows that spewing data and facts is not compelling to people who hold strong opinions (Bellizzi, UConn Today, 2022). It is more effective to ask questions that spark dialogue and help both parties understand each other better.

“The hallmark of a productive debate is not persuasion, but insight,” says Wharton professor Adam Grant. “In a good argument, you're as motivated to learn as to convince. You can declare victory when everyone involved has deepened their understanding, broadened their knowledge, or evolved their thinking” (Source).

Instead of arguing with the person you’re speaking with, practice active listening. Ask them open-ended questions that begin with words like "what, how, when, why, or tell me more about..." This will lead to a healthier conversation and increase the chances of the other person thinking critically about their own perspective.

2 - Practice empathy and validate others

In The Oprah Winfrey Show finale, Oprah shared with her audience about the one thing every person she met had in common: “they all wanted validation,” she shared. “They want to know: 'Do you see me? Do you hear me? Does what I say mean anything to you?'“

When you extend empathy to someone else, it doesn't mean you agree with their feelings — it means that you belief their human experience is valid. It lets them know that they have a right to feel the way they do, based on their lived experiences.

Empathy and validation are a magic trick for lowering the temperature in the room and opening the door to productive dialogue. Try this language: "That sounds really stressful;" or "it makes sense that you'd feel X based on Y."

3 - Increase your media literacy and critical thinking skills

During turbulent times, it’s essential that we all pause before responding or reacting when we consume the latest piece of news. This means looking at all media with a critical lens — including the outlets that align with your beliefs — and admitting when you get off course.

Pro tip: support media outlets with a strong corrections culture — the people and businesses who fact-check deeply and own it when they miss the mark. Not only does it make you look more credible and informed, but it can prevent the escalation of violence and division.

When you learn how to say: “I got this wrong,” you practice intellectual humility — an essential leadership skill — and inspire others to do the same.

4 - Be Kind

Being kind costs you nothing. So be good to your neighbors, the coworker cross the room, and waiter at your favorite restaurant.

If you feel yourself getting frustrated, pause what you’re doing and put down your phone. Go for a walk, meditate, and make room for rest. Re-engage when you're ready.

Remember: you can be clear and kind at the same time — even with people you disagree with. Being kind is not the same as being complacent or setting advocacy to the side.

. . .

This is a really difficult time in history. And I still believe that there are more good people than bad who really care about our country and the collective good. So let's do the damn thing and make a conscious choice to learn and rise together.