On Making Peace with the In-Between

by Margie DuBois, CPC

August 14, 2025

Have you ever found yourself feeling frustrated when you’re in an “in-between” stage of life?

Whether you’re starting a new job, becoming a parent, scaling a business, or preparing for retirement, transitions have a way of unraveling our sense of certainty.

You might feel unsettled, anxious, or not like yourself. Perhaps you’ve even debated throwing in the towel and retreating back to the old versions of you.

The truth is, the in-between stage of life is usually the hardest part of the growth journey — and it’s the phase that doesn’t get enough air time.

In a culture of instant gratification and highlight reels, it’s not glamorous. You’re doing so much work behind the scenes, and have no “after” photos to celebrate.

The in-between stage requires that you sit with your resistance and discomfort for an extended period of time. And as humans we really struggle with the present — we are overly focused on the past and the future.

While it’s not fun, it’s critical to embrace the in-between, because it’s where we experience the most learning and growth. It’s actually when the magic happens — if we’re paying enough attention.

Of course, this is easier said than done. If you’re looking to find peace during an in-between stage of your life, here are three tools to try.

1 - Focus on what you do want (and write it down)

The human brain is wired to focus on the negative, or the things we don’t want to feel or experience. It’s part of how we stay safe, but it can backfire. When we spend more time thinking about what we don’t want, we lose sight of what we do want, and make it harder to move in that direction.

Consider reflecting on where your energy is going right now, and whether or not it’s attracting what you want into your life. Then, jot down a list what you do want in your life. Get really specific. And if you have an extra minute, read this article about the law of attraction.

What would your most abundant and joyful life look like? And what could you do differently to start creating that life?

2 - Craft a mantra

When you're wanting to “call in” something good into your life, it’s important to be aware of your mindset and cultivate new beliefs that embody the future state you want to achieve.

It’s not about agreeing with the beliefs — it’s about experimenting with new identities and trying them on before the good stuff happens.

Take a minute this week to craft a new mantra that is clear and easy to repeat. Write it down somewhere visible in your home or add it to your phone lock screen. Then say it out loud each time you see it.

Remember, your mindset matters and can transform your success. Just ask this Super Bowl Champion, Ryan Harris.

3 - Develop a gratitude practice

Sometimes it’s hard to feel joy when you’re in an in-between stage of life. One of the fastest ways to experience more joy is to integrate a gratitude practice into your life.

So get out your journal, set a timer, and write for 5 minutes without stopping. Jot down anything that you feel grateful right now - whether it be a friend in your life, your morning coffee, or a walk with your dog.

Not sure where to start? Here are my favorite three practices.

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Transitions are hard. But they’re also where the real becoming happens. When you look back at these chapters, you will feel proud that you practiced courage and stayed present along the way. Remember that you don’t have to have everything figured out (or know all the answers) to be on your path.

"The day you plant the seed is not the day you eat the fruit. Be patient and stay the course." — Fabienne Fredrickson